Who Am I?

There are four of us who teach at my school who have become widows within the last four years. The eldest is sixty-two, and I'm the youngest at fifty-four. We have taught together for more than twenty years, and have gone through three principals, five assistant principals, and numerous educational innovations (most of which came from people who have spent precious little--if any--time in a middle school classroom). One of us has an elementary degree, two of us are secondary math majors, and the fourth is a special education teacher. One of us has two biological children and two grandchildren; another has one biological child, one grandchild, and another on the way; the third has three biological children, six grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren; I have no biological children, two step-sons, a niece, nephew, nephew-in-law, great-niece, and a Jack Russell Terrier. We all belong to the same religious denomination, and three of the same professional organizations. Three of us had happy marriages, one did not.

I recently made a fairly drastic change in my hairstyle (you're wondering how this makes a connection with the above paragraph; stay with me, I have a point coming...). I had wanted to make this change earlier, but my sweet DH liked my hair the other way, so I went along because I loved him. I ran into one of my fellow widows on our way in and out of the restroom, and she commented on my new hairstyle. I told her that I had felt free to change it after my husband passed away, and she laughed. She said that for the first time in her life, she was not someone's wife or someone's daughter...and that she was not an on-duty mother, just a doting grandmother when possible. I told her that I also had that epiphany after my mother died last fall--I was an orphan. She laughed again, and said that we were now just who we are in God, and that's more than enough. She's right...and I think three of us have reached that point, even though we are still mourning. One of us is still looking for herself, and I know her well enough to know that it will be a tough journey. She married at the age of fifteen, so she's almost always been a wife...and now she's not.

The father of another teaching friend is dying. He is blessed to be living his last days at his home, surrounded by a loving wife, daughters, sons-in-law, and grandchildren. I went by to visit today, and told both my friend and her mother than I had walked in both their shoes (my dad died in January, 2005). Thank God for the blessings of friends and family, and the prayers that hold us together when we can't hold ourselves together. I've been connected with this family for almost fifty years--I went to kindergarten with the middle daughter, and have taught with and carpooled with the youngest daughter for more than twenty-five years. God has blessed me with so many wonderful connections and memories, and they give me strength when my own strength is almost exhausted.

Shhh...The Baby is Sleeping

It is almost 6:00 a.m., and I have entered the high-tech era of baby-sitting. My darling almost fifteen-month-old great-niece is with me for a couple of days. I am sitting in the living room writing this on my laptop and listening to the baby monitor. When her mother (now 29) and uncle (now almost 28) were babies, we didn't have baby monitors, and mothers and aunts and grandmothers slept even more lightly and listened for every sound. We tiptoed into darkened rooms to be sure they were still breathing, and tried not to stumble over anything and disturb their sleep.

She and I made the trip from her home yesterday afternoon. Her mom and dad have gone to San Francisco so that her mother can do a presentation at a national conference in her field, so I graciously (ha!) volunteered to take off two days from school and babysit. This was her first car trip without at least one of her parents, and she cried a little when she realized they were not coming with us. She cried for about five minutes and then decided to do what she usually does as soon as she gets in the car...take off her shoes and socks.

We got to my house around 6:15 p.m. Her grammy (my sister) was here to help with dinner and getting ready for bed, and we put her down around 7:20. She will sleep until around 7:00 a.m., and then we'll change her diaper, eat breakfast, brush teeth, get dressed, and play until time for a morning snack and nap. My niece is a wonderful mother, married to a wonderful man, and was blessed with a child who seemed to have been born with a schedule already set! After a morning nap, we'll have lunch and go visit my friends at school. Then we'll play some more, have an afternoon snack, and then have another nap. After that nap, we'll have dinner, play some more (hard work getting all that play in during a day), eat dinner and get ready for bed.

What a wonderful way to spend a day...

Harry P. and Me

I read my first Harry Potter book about three years ago, I think. I was at my niece's house and borrowed the first two books from her. I borrowed two more from a friend at school, then bought the other two for myself (and sold them on E-Bay for just about what I paid for them). I had heard a lot about the books, and as a middle school teacher, I've always prided myself on keeping up with what my students find interesting. I've also been a voracious reader since childhood, and the idea of a continuing series appealed to the secret soap opera fan in me.

I watched the first three movies all at once (again, from the collection of my niece), and the fourth when it was released on DVD. I haven't yet seen movie #5; don't know if I'll venture to the theater or wait for the DVD.

I am a Christian, and was--thankfully--brought up in a Christian home with wonderful parents. My mother seldom censored my reading material, but she did censor my television viewing. I think she had a good idea about what I read, since she was with me when we went to the public library or to the used book store, but she never said much about it.

When the Harry Potter furor first started, there was a blurb on the local news announcing an interview with someone from the Watchman Fellowship (do a Google search if you want more information). I decided to make it a point to watch, and it turned out to be with a man with whom I had gone to college. He made some excellent points, and I try to use those same points when I am talking about Harry and his friends. My friend pointed out that if we ban the Harry Potter books, we should probably also ban the J.R.R. Tolkien books and the Chronicles of Narnia series written by C.S. Lewis. J.R.R. Tolkien was a devout Christian, and influenced C.S. Lewis in his conversion to Christianity. My friend said that parents should be aware of what their children are reading, and be sure that children understand the difference between fantasy and reality.

I have now read all seven of the books, and have enjoyed them all. As an educator, I know the importance of reading to a student's success, and if the Harry Potter series has encouraged a reluctant reader to take up the habit, then J.K. Rowling has done a good deed. In fact, she mentioned in her interview with Meredith Viera that one of her greatest rewards was being able to encourage reading.

If you are a parent and unsure about Harry and his friends, then please read the books before you make a final decision. You know your child, and you have shared your beliefs and values with him/her. Read the books aloud; talk about the books; use them as an opportunity to develop reading comprehension and vocabulary skills. As many others have commented, Harry's success depends on good choices, not on magic. Use the books to talk about choices, about love, about loyalty, and even the benefits of developing a good imagination (look at how much money it's made for Ms. Rowling!)!