It's Not Supposed to Be This Way

There was some rain during the night, and the grass and trees look so fresh and clean. Most of that awful yellow pollen has been washed off the deck chairs (but is still puddled up under the carport since it wasn't a hard rain). The boys did the yard Thursday evening, and DH would have been proud--it looks as good as it would have if he had done it. In fact, it may look better since they were able to use gas-powered weed eaters. DH could only use an electric weed eater because of the lack of strength in his left hand, and he was never going to be as strong as two teen aged boys working together.

I went shopping with my sister and her sister-in-law. I don't have much desire to leave the house, but I also know I have to fight that feeling. I forced myself to go out to eat with them Friday evening, and then made the shopping trip yesterday. We went to two thrift stores, and I ended up with a couple of shirts, two turtlenecks (I dress more and more like my mother...), and a stack of books to read when I get to point where I can concentrate on reading. We had a lovely early dinner at P.F. Chang's, and I had enough to bring home for dinner this evening.

When my sister picked me up yesterday, she was on the phone with her daughter, my niece. Niece was out of town for four days this past week at a conference related to her field, and got home late Friday evening. They were about to leave to go to a friend's wedding at a city about ninety miles away from us, and they are coming by here this afternoon to eat lunch with us. That's wonderful, but what's REALLY wonderful is that she'll have her ten-month-old daughter with her! My darling great-niece, who is the light of my life...well, in addition to her mother, her father, and her uncle. A "baby fix" will make the next few weeks at school more bearable, and I might feel led to take off a day or two between now and the end of school to get another dose of baby kisses before summer vacation officially starts.

When I checked the caller ID after I got home yesterday, I noticed that my precious mother-in-law had called. She doesn't talk to machines (by her own admission), so I called her back to see if she needed anything. She's been watching the news reports about the tainted dog food, and she wanted to be sure that our dog has not been eating any of the recalled products. Over the past few months, our dog has switched from Old Roy (WM brand) to Mighty Dog (which I think may now be on THE LIST), and now is eating Pedigree. I generally buy dog food at WM, and they stopped having Old Roy, then stopped having Mighty Dog, and I think that Pedigree is almost all they have in the pouches.

While talking to her, I asked about my father-in-law, and she said that he has had some bad days. She said that she had a lot of difficulty yesterday morning getting him out of bed. He has chronic health problems, and does suffer from depression (and takes medication for it). She said that she believes that DH's death is weighing on his mind, and is causing problems. I know she's right...it's not supposed to be this way. A parent is not supposed to bury a child, no matter what their age is. I told DH several times that even though his parents didn't love him more than his brothers, they loved him differently. They had a lot invested in him because of the years of drug and alcohol abuse; they had done everything they could to try to help him overcome his addictions, and supported him when he finally let God help him. They knew him in his "before" years, and they saw him through to the "after" years. His mother remarked that there weren't enough "after" years...it wasn't supposed to be this way.